Slept for just a couple of hours. Literally. 2 and a half hour to be exact.
Facebooked, watched a lot till it was 4 am. Haha.
Twas because I was stubborn. And. I was stubborn. And just plain stubborn.
So, here it is. I had a commitment this Saturday, June 27, 09, 7am at McDonald’s P. Campa. We’re attending the NFJPIA Leadership Training Seminar of Standing Committees at PSBA QC that morning. Fun! Was excited for all that. I was interested with being a Standing Committee last year. But I was heartbroken, so my interest crashed down.
Heartbroken eh?
**INSERT FLASHBACK EFFECTS HERE**
This is not the heartbroken chorva you might be thinking. The usual broken hearted feeling you get when you fall so deep for one person but things don’t go out the way you want it. Or it could be the unrequited love you always see on TV.
But NO. This is not it. I got rejected by the JPIA UST Chapter when I appplied to be one of those trying hard trainees you call Junior Coordinator (JCs), because I had one effin’ failing grade. Singko dude. They cannot accept me, because the organization is an academic organization. It has to be that way yaddah yaddah yaddah. That was when I lost interest in the organization. One officer even asked me if I wanna try being a StanCom, but I just don’t have the interest to be so pumped up with the alternative he had for me. Instead of me getting so involved and active in the organizations, I got more failing grades, and even stopped attending classes. Nothing interests me anymore. Because this is a plain example of DISCRIMINATION (in my own honest opinion). 
I had other orgs, but I just refused to become active anymore because I was busy with some other things. Yeah, I was so goddamned busy I cannot afford to get the benefits I paid in those organizations in the form of membership fees.
What are those things?
I was busy drinking. Getting drunk. Coughing my lungs out. Getting drunk. Drinking again. Puff puff. And then getting so drunk.
And it didn’t stop there. It continued until the second semester of my third year.
And what the hell did I get that year? Fate paid me back with another ’singko’. It was a buy-one-take-two deal. Yay, two failing grades to add up to my history.
But now is different. When I cleared my deficiencies this summer, I was still kinda fuzzy. I skipped classes a lot, but was able to clean the mess I made. So another start eh?
Yep. I faced the UST-AMV College Of Accountancy in a different angle. Like I was a photographer who saw the better angle of the model with cleaner lenses. God did helped me a lot.
I’m still struggling though. I may backslide to the wasted me, but I would be the first one to prevent that from happening. I hated it. I hated that. I hated myself that way. It was awful! (But I didn’t regret the fact that I did gain many friends in that state, now the only question is, do they really care?)
**END FLASHBACK EFFECTS HERE**
So this morning I attended the NFJPIA LTS for StanCom at PSBA QC. ‘Twas a lata fun!’ as what Ramon Bautista would say. And I met new people. Nice. Responsible. Serious, but funny at the same time.
No, they did not ask if I had failing grades. And I remembered Kuya Miko (Mikey) saying that the organization would want to reach out to the other members who are not so active. Just typing out what I had in mind that moment, I thought, “Not all JPIANs are perfect. Not all have smooth grades. I wish you can reach out to them.” That was what I thought.
I’m driving on a different path now. Not entirely different, but at this state, I’m still at the point of changing lanes. I might get back to the same lane, but I’m striving to get to the other lane.
Don’t get me wrong here. I am still the fun gal everybody knew. I’m still crazy. And I’m still weird. I still break the rules (sometimes). But I would want to get to see what I can be. A better me. A fully furnished engine ready to roar and function at its best.
Sir Apollo Layug : “Be good, so everyone can be a better person.” (or something like that. haha!)
