Kwentuhan

thoughts
so many thoughts
stirrin’ in my head

ideas
yeah, i’ve got plenty of ‘em
flashin’ down like flashflood
destroyin’ the person i know
the person i thought i know

emotions
they’ve accompanied me through the years
tumbled up and down
they never left me
but they never even bother to warn,
a stupid creature as i am,
that they can also be the one to destroy who i am

plans
plenty of them has been locked up in this shell since god knows when
however simple it may seem
not even a single step was taken

a coward
yes that’s what i am
invaded by these emotions, ideas, and thoughts…
i cannot simply forgo these treasures i hold
who am i to blame them?
who am i to destroy them?
they’ve befriended the person inside this emptiness
they’ve not even passed on a single complaint against the loneliness i share

hatred overflows
’cause this personality i try to hold on to,
knows not the word confide

i apologize for the time she’s taken
i apologize for the space she’s stolen
even if she says not so,
it blows that she doesn’t mean to do so

Separate lives…
That’s what we have now.

2 years
6 months
5 days
11 hours
22 minutes
5 seconds
the clock’s tickin’
and i’m still countin’

there’s no sense in waitin’
is there somethin’ to wait for?
or am i just wastin’ my goddamned time?

questions…
answers…

it should have gone the other way around
but it didn’t

time.
still tickin’
still countin’
nostalgic…

This is the second romance novel I read… I try to avoid romance novels. I don’t know why, I just don’t like them as much as I love suspense, mysteries, anything that entails violence, haha.. Yea, I read a lot, but I don’t enjoy all of ‘em.

Back to the book, I just finished it few moments ago. And I felt, the eeriness. And I was confused for a moment. ( At nakikisama mag-senti yung radyo… Pag-alis ni Barbie yung kinakanta niya. Wahaha.. )

Unlike Zarah, and probably most of his readers, I am not prone to crying. Hehehe. But there’s something inside me that felt sad for a moment. And after the next few seconds, I was frustrated. Haha. Little did I know that my cousin also felt the same thing. She was also frustrated, but, unlike me, she cried. Well, if you call “one drop of tear” a cry, then, she cried. Hahaha.

I didn’t like the idea that it all went so wrong. Hey, what did I expect, it’s Nicholas Sparks. I should’ve read Bob Ong instead. Hahaha.

And to sum it all up, it’s another proof that all guys are hypocrites. Well, I agree that the girl was another hypocrite. In short, the message that this book is trying to convey, is that the world is full of hypocrites..!

Hmm, there something, that tells me, this is one of the ordinary, unrealistic, and predictable novels. I didn’t like it that much. I really didn’t expect that I would like it just because Nicholas Sparks wrote it. Well, anyway, it was touching. And one lesson emerged… If you guys don’t know how to be romantic, write a letter, it never fails to melt our heart. Haha. Agree?

Nakangiti ka sakin
Mapungay ang iyong mga mata
Nawawala mga problema ko sa tuwing tititigan kita.

Hinawakan mo ang aking mga kamay
Niyakap mo ako ng mahigpit
Batid na batid ko ang walang katapusang kaligayahan.

Wala ng mas gaganda pa sa musikang itinitibok ng mga puso natin
Kaysarap pakinggan
Walang sawang kaligayahan.

Ngunit, unti-unti, lumalayo ka
Naglalaho at lumalabo
Unti-unti, nagising ako
Kaysaya, ngunit kaylungkot.

Di ko mapaliwanag, isang misteryong emosyon ang bumabalot.
Panaginip.

I stared at you
You looked away
TensionYou don’t wanna meet my gaze
But there’s something we want,
Need,
Have, to say…
It’s bugging me
Tension

It hurts.
Bleeds.
Why?
I don’t know why..
Do I really wanna know why?

I’m ready to listen
You’re not ready to talk yet
I’ll wait
I’ll stay

An idea emerged
The surface of tension
You ended your story
Just when I was starting mine…

But still, I’ll wait
I’ll stay…

I tried to save us…
Tried every means possible…You wiped away my tears
I thought we were fine
But then again, I was wrong…

You held my hand
I thought it meant “stay”
But still, I was wrong…

You held me close…
Close to your heart
I thought it meant “I’ll hold you forever”
And again, I was wrong…

Your kisses I cherished
I was so glad we’re together
I thought it meant “I’ll spend my life with you”
Crushed and burned, still, I was wrong…

We waded at the water,
Felt peace together
Said words such as ‘I’ll love you with all my heart’, and ‘I’ll stay here forever’
But fort the nth time, I was wrong
We were wrong…

I stared at you,
There’s nothing I can do…
And with tears in my eyes,
you walked away…
Out of my life…

When I left him… He was already walking away…

Watched it, hmm, like, an hour ago…

We went to Robinson’s…

It was an emergency. But still, we watched that damn movie.

I ‘used to’ enjoy Harry Potter. Then biglang, blagagh, I don’t wanna be a fan of Harry and his group of friends… Haha. I just don’t like it anymore. Got a problem with that?

Some sigificant ( at least, I think they’re significant ) scenes were omitted, hmm, that scene where in Mr. Weasly was confined in a hospital, ahh, I just happen to like that particular scene, but it wasn’t in the movie. Too bad. And, some not-so-very-significant-scenes were not omitted, hmm, the kiss under the mistletoe, ahh, it took like, eternity? ahh, hmm, 5 seconds. To consider that it was part of the insignificant events.

Loved the part where George and Fred flew away from Hogwarts, hmm, with their inventions running after Umbridge.

The Giant, ah, I forgot the name, the half-brother of Hagrid, looks a bit like “Mura”… **Clue : “Mahal”

Where did the screaming portrait go?… I happen to like that too. But, again, *sigh*, it wasn’t in the movie…

Aabangan ko na lang, pag naging chic flick na ang Harry Potter. Haha.

But, at least, they were still sticking to the plotline.

Yea, I’m gonna finish this series. But, I don’t think I will enjoy it as much as some of my friends do. It’s kinda ‘boring’ to me, because everyone talks about it… It seems that it suddenly became, uh, ‘cute’?! And not really that ‘interesting’ anymore…

Lumilipad ang isip..
Hindi ko alam kung san na siya nakarating
Isa lang naman ang tinatakbo
Papunta doon…
Doon..
San nga ba ang doon?
Hindi ko rin nga alam…
Pero dun din matatapos ang lahat
Dun din tayo babagsak…
Dun din makakalas ang lubid na ating pinilit buhulin ng makailang-ulit
Nagsawa na kasi…
Nakakasawa naman talaga kasi…
Walang sisihan…
Wala naman kasing may gusto
Pero bakit?
Bakit doon natapos ang lahat?
Silipin ko kaya sa encyclopedia…
Makita ko kaya dun ang sagot?
Eh kung sa diksyonaryo kaya?
Kaya lang di ko alam ang tamang ispeling ng hinahanap ko…Kung tutuusin, wala naman talagang kwenta
Wala naman kasing kwentong sinundan…
Pero ang nakakagulat, may ending siya
Oo pare, may ending siya.
Di nga lang HAPPY, pero at least, may ending siya…
Ibig sabihin, natapos…
Hindi siya pinabayaang nakatiwangwang
Natapos nga eh diba?…

Lintek naman kasi..
Napakasimple lang naman ng buhay…
Ipapanganak ka…
Tapos mamamatay din…

So bakit kelangan pa ng komplikasyon?
Baket?

Para may saya…
Para may galak…
Paray may iyak…

Eh bat ka nagiinarte ngayon?
Wala lang..
Anong wala lang?
Eh sa wala nga eh…

Baket?
Sabi sayo, walang patutunguhan to eh..
Tara, labas na nga tayo..
Gala na lang tayo…
San tayo pupunta?
Sa mga taong may oras para makinig..
Sino yun?
Ah, si Pining?
Mahal ang talent fee nia, tapos wala ka pang appointment sa kanya
Oh sige, tayo na lang mag-usap…
Sige, sige..
Papainom ka ba?
Sige, akong taya ngayon…
San tayo?
Sa bahay na lang…

Tara…

Teka, wala pa tayong iinumin, bili ka muna…
Sige, antay lang kita sa labas…
Ano pa? Anong pulutan?
Ah, kahit ano na lang…
Yosi pa pala…
Dami mong pinapabili… Ayoko na…
Wag na nga! Ang arte mo…
Tulog na lang tayo…

Tara…

Hinahanap ko ang sarili ko
Di ko makita
Bakit?
Bakit ba di ko siya makita?
San ba siya nagtago?Tatakbo ako…
Hahanapin ko siya…
Maaaring di pa siya magpakita ngayon
Pero mahahanap ko din siya
At kung dumating sa puntong malapit na kong sumuko,
Hahanap na lang ako ng ibang hahanap sa kanya

Maskara…
Sa likod ng maskara, malamang, andun siya
Ayaw niya talaga magpakita…
Bakit kaya?
Anong meron?

Hindi ko pa maisip kung anong meron…
Pero huhula na lang ako…

Takot?
Maaaring yon nga…
Takot saan?
Takot kanino?
Hindi ko masabi..
Takot… Ah…
Takot sa mundo?
Hmm…

Hiya?
Maari rin…
Hiya saan?
Hiya kanino?
Hindi ko masabi..
Hiya… Ah…
Hiya sa mga pinaggagagawa niyang kabalastugan?
Hmmm…

Bisyo?
Anong bisyo?
Bakit siya nagbisyo?
Hindi ko masabi..
Bisyo… Ah…
Bisyong di niya na maalis?
Hmm…

Baka naman SIYA….
Oo, maaring SIYA nga…
SIYA nga ang nasa likod ng maskara…

Nagkukubli…
Sa mga taong mapanghusga…
Mapanglait…
At mga taong di marunong tumanggap ng pagkakaiba…

Ngayon…
Aking nabatid…
Ayoko na palang pilitin siyang magpakita…
Bagkus, ay pipilitin ko pa siyang magtago sa likod ng maskara
Nang sa gayon…
Di niya maranasan…
Ang mga kabalbalang ipinaranas sa akin
Ang mga kalokohang sa akin ay ipinatikim
Ang mga pagpapaiyak na ipinadama sa akin
Ang mga kasinungalingang kaysarap pakinggan
Ang mga masasakit na salitang maaaring mamutawi sa labi ng mga taong mahal niya

Pipilitin ko siya…
Na magtago sa likod ng maskara…
Para sa kanyang ikabubuti…
Para sa kanyang ikaliligaya…

Ngunit sino ako para magdesisyon para sa kanyang kaligayahan?
Sino?
Wala
Di naman ako importante sa kanya…

Isa lamang akong taong nagmamalasakit…
Nagbubuhos ng oras at panahon, para sa kanya…

Para sa kanya…
Na walang pakialam sa akin…